“HOW ARE YOU?”
I was asked by someone recently, something I am often asked and something that I too often ask others. “How are you” It is on one level a relational question, on another a greeting of sorts, and yet potentially an opening for a deeper conversation. I must admit that I decided, rather mischievously, to discover if the individual asking would notice my response. And so I said, “not very well, having a very difficult time.” And they said, “great to hear it, have a wonderful day!”
This question, the one we are possibly most asked, is sometimes answered untruthfully. And yet we ask, again, and again, and again. And we are generally ok with it, because it has become a form of greeting in our society. In truth we don’t ask the question to discover how someone is, or do we?
Then to be asked the following question, and from someone who you are meeting with over coffee/tea; “how are things going on in your life?” shows a concern. And if they will not let you off with a trite untruthful response, you really have a friend. They care.
How many people do we know who dare and care, to peer into our heart and connect with how we really are? And who are ready with the answer? I remember a Seinfeld show many years ago where Kramer told the advisor of a mayoral candidate that an integral part of the campaign should be name tags work by new Yorkers, so people could greet each other by name. And build relationships. The candidate lost.
There are three points to this; 1) are we listening to the one we have asked “how are you?”, not just with the response but with the body language and facial expression. 2) Are we ready to answer with an answer that is truth for us at the moment? 3) Are we ready to get further involved when the answer is; “I’m having a very difficult day.”
Good mental health, is good emotional health. MQ = EQ. Even Einstein would agree.:)
“SO, HOW ARE YOU.” www.bryanhagerman.ca I do Skype. 902 471 7919.